Building a Beautiful Life - A Guide for Single Mums

When I first became a single parent, the idea of doing it alone didn’t scare me. I didn’t really allow my mind to go to a negative place at all and my attitude was very much one of ‘this is my situation and we’re just going to go with it’.

I hadn’t thought of all the challenges that would inevitably come my way and I genuinely saw it as an opportunity to build something better, for myself and my children. It wasn’t that I was deluded, I just accepted where I was and was determined to make the best of it, for all of us.

But, what I definitely didn’t anticipate was just how lonely it would feel at times. Not the physical kind of lonely but the emotional kind. On the days when everything’s on you, when you’re doing it all or you’re just having a sad day and there’s no one to lean on for a break or a little support, those moments hit hard. And in that time, I didn’t feel like there was a person in the world that could understand that feeling.

If you’re reading this and nodding along, I want you to know, you are not alone in that feeling. Time definitely does heal, you do adapt to your situation and you will get stronger every single day.

At this point, five years on, I am so proud of my little family and the life that we’ve created. We may not have everything but what we do have is a home that is absolutely filled with love. We have created new memories, new traditions and have learned to navigate this new life, together, as a team. It’s been a rollercoaster but it’s genuinely one I’d ride a hundred times over.

So I want to dive into some real talking advice, one single mum to another, that will hopefully help you navigate your way from feeling overwhelmed to empowered on your own journey;

Release Expectations

First of all, let go of any expectations of how your life ‘should’ look at this point. Your life may look different now but just because it doesn’t look as you imagined, does not mean it will be any less beautiful. So let all your preconceptions go and move forward with a fresh slate. You are writing a new chapter so don’t compare it to the last one.

 

One day at a time

Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by the big picture or by what you think single parenting should be as everyone’s situation is different. It’s easy to catastrophise but try to stay present and not concern yourself with the ‘what ifs’, focus only on what is.

This will keep you in a more neutral mindset which means that if challenges arise, you will be able to deal with them better and also means you won’t miss out on all of the special moments around you (of which there will be plenty). Remember to be patient with yourself, this journey isn’t about having all the answers right now, it’s about learning and growing as you go.

 

You’re all they need

What children need the most is your love, support and security, all of which you can provide in abundance. My children may not have the most when it comes to ‘things’ but they are more loved than they will ever know and that is ultimately, what shapes them. You are not ‘less than’ just because you are one person, so know that everything your children could ever need, you can give them.

 

Lean on your people

If you have family or close friends who want to help, let them. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and being honest about your situation will actually strengthen those bonds around you. Whether you need a break, a listening ear or some advice, there’s a reason they say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ so surround yourself with people who lift you up and lean on them when you need to.

Opening up and being vulnerable was alien to me before but speaking to those around me, when I was struggling, made me feel more loved than ever before and that support really does make all the difference.

 

Flow with it

Change can be intimidating but it’s also a chance to reclaim your future. This is your opportunity to rebuild and design a life that aligns with who you are now.

So, try to embrace the unknown and remember that your future is yours to shape. You may not always be able to plan how things will turn out but think of life as a river - if you try to swim against it, it’s exhausting. However, if you allow it to carry you, it’s really quite easy. Allow things to unfold naturally, let your path lead you and trust that you are able to deal with all that brings.

 

Celebrate your wins

I remember all of my ‘firsts’ - the first long car journey, first family day out as a three, first holiday, first Christmas, first DIY project. I remember them feeling so daunting but pushing through every thing that made me feel uncomfortable and focussing on nothing but creating new memories with my children, gave me so much strength. I realised, that there’s nothing I couldn’t handle on my own (or recruit someone to help with) and that realisation is empowering AF!

During those times, when you’re scared, is when you grow the most, so smash through those feelings and you will realise that you are way more capable than you ever imagined.

 

Be open and honest

Communication is everything so talk to your kids openly and get real comfortable with apologising. Parenting is hard enough when you’re two people but when you’re one, at times, it can feel impossible.

I’ve lost count of the amount of things I’ve missed because my head has been too full and I’ve got very used to dropping balls left, right and centre but we’re only human. We all have bad days, we all make mistakes and as much as you naturally want to shield your children from a lot, you can’t always.

Kids are resilient and by showing them honesty, resilience and humility, you are teaching them powerful lessons that will help them navigate life’s up and downs in the future.

 

Reassess your priorities

There will be things that you wanted to do and could do previously, that you cant now. You’re one person and letting go of the pressure to do it all, can be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your children. So, get comfortable with saying no and get used to setting boundaries.

Happy Mum equals happy child, so don’t strive for perfection, instead focus on what really matters to you. Move forward with this as your goal and treat yourself with kindness.

 

Get to know yourself and your kids

This is a chance for a fresh start for all of you. Explore new places with your kids, create new traditions and build memories that are just yours. This new chapter is where you get to learn about each other in a new way and it’s a time of growth for you all.

I am so proud of the bond I have with my children and it’s one that I know would not be the same if I wasn’t on my own.

This is also a chance for you to reconnect with yourself. You’re not the same person you were before so discover what brings you joy, what fuels you and what helps you feel whole. Make yourself a priority because by caring for yourself and your own needs, you’re teaching your children how to take care of their own needs too.

 

Count the smiles

Pay attention to the little moments with your children and truly savor them. It’s so easy for us Mums to get caught up in feelings of self-doubt, especially when things don’t go as planned or when we feel we’re falling short. But take a step back and focus on all the things you’re doing right. Every time your child says “I love you,” every spontaneous laugh, every small act of kindness they show—these moments aren’t little. They’re the moments that count.

These small instances are reflections of the love, care, and security you’re providing. So, instead of focusing on where you think you could be doing better, celebrate these signs that you’re doing a great job. Be present in these moments, allow yourself to feel the happiness they bring and remember that this is what truly matters.

Years from now, you and your children may not remember every challenging day or tough moment, but you’ll remember the warmth and love that you felt. So let yourself soak them in. They’re a reminder that even on the hardest days, there are beautiful moments.

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As a single parent, it’s easy to get lost in the challenges, the worries, and the constant striving to do it all. But as you go through each day, remind yourself of all the beautiful moments you’re creating, the love you’re giving and just how far you’ve come. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, doing your best, and being there for your kids. 

Give yourself credit for all you’re doing right. Cherish the little moments and lean on your village. You’re not just getting by, you’re building something truly special and that’s something to be proud of every single day.

Here’s to embracing this journey, one imperfect, beautiful moment at a time.