The Art of Not Falling Apart - Self Care for The Crazy Busy

I’m writing this post from my bed, surrounded by a sea of tissues, courtesy of the worst cold I’ve had in ages. It’s honestly funny—here I am, trying to dish out advice on self-care whilst I’m in the thick of it myself. But, maybe that’s exactly why I’m the right person to write this.

This post is happening now because for the first time in weeks, I’m forced to slow down and in the words of Alanis-‘Isn’t it ironic’?!

The only time I’ve had to focus on me has come because I’m not well and because I didn’t prioritise looking after myself in the first place.

None of us have it all together so let’s not judge but I’m usually way better at this.  I know the consequences if I don’t pause—I’ll end up just like I am now. Stress always finds a way to show up in my body so I meditate, I exercise and I find pockets of time to recharge because I know it keeps me well. But it’s been a wild few months (more like a year) and honestly, I haven’t kept up with what I know I need.

As Buddha once said, “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” Why? Because when you’re running on empty, you need it even more. The more energy you’re putting out, the more you need to put back in.

So here I am, writing about how to make time for yourself when you’re beyond busy—wisdom brought to you by a box of tissues and a solid case of the flu. Without further ado, here are my top tips:

 

1. Set Small Non-Negotiables

Don’t try to carve out an hour every day if that’s impossible right now. Start with something small but non-negotiable. Maybe five minutes of quiet with a cup of tea, a quick stretch if you’ve sat too long or even a five-minute journal entry where you write your thoughts down. Set an alarm and commit to it. These tiny breaks can make a huge difference in how you feel without adding stress to your day.

 

2. Batch Your Breaks

If you’re back-to-back with meetings, appointments, or demands, try to cluster your time out. Instead of scattering your tasks, organize them so that you can snag a longer break in between. Even just 15-20 minutes can give you time to step outside, listen to music or just breathe without interruption.

 

3. Practice ‘Micro Self-Care’ Throughout the Day

We think of self-care as these big gestures—a spa day, a long workout but micro self-care is about slipping little moments in where you can. It’s deep breaths at your desk, consciously relaxing your shoulders, a few minutes to savor your food rather than scoffing it down or putting your phone on silent and pausing to just ‘be’ when you can. When you’re maxed out, just being mindful for a few minutes will make all the difference.

 

4. Learn to Say “No”

It’s cliché but seriously, you need it more than you think. If your schedule is packed, learn to say NO. Trust me, once you get into this, it really is empowering. I used to find it incredibly hard to say no to anything but now I’m a solid ‘I don’t want to do that’ person and I love it. Prioritise where your energy goes—especially when you’re running low.

 

5. Set Boundaries with Your Devices

The digital world keeps us plugged in all day, and it’s so easy to spend ‘down time’ scrolling through apps which just makes us feel more drained. Those things you’re seeing, that you think are chilling you out, are subconsciously keeping your mind working which means it is NOT downtime. Try setting a tech boundary, whether it’s a screen-free morning, a social media time limit or even turning off notifications in the evenings. A bit of real disconnection can give you space to recharge.

 

6. Schedule One ‘Me Hour’ a Week

If daily self-care feels impossible, aim for just one solid hour each week where you can fully focus on yourself. Book it in like any other appointment, and don’t cancel on yourself. Whether it’s a long bath, a good book or a walk, that hour can be a game-changer. Everybody gets an hour, so don’t lie to yourself, we just prioritise it differently. Think of what would help you the most and commit to it.

 

7. Remember, Self-Care Isn’t Always ‘Relaxing’

Self-care sometimes means doing things that aren’t relaxing but are good for you in the long run. If tomorrows you would thank todays you for it, then it’s worth it. It might mean getting through your laundry pile, prepping a healthy meal for tomorrow, or finally finishing that thing you’ve been putting off. These things lift the mental load of tomorrow which makes it easier to relax when you do have the time.

 

8. Give Yourself Grace

Forgive yourself when you’re stretched thin. Do what you can, when you can, and be kind to yourself for not being perfect.

Life isn’t always a perfect balance and some days will feel messier and more overwhelming than others. It’s easy to get caught up in everything you should be doing or to feel guilty for not taking better care of yourself. But remember, you’re human and you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got.

Sometimes, self-care also means letting yourself off the hook. If all you managed today was to get through the day, that’s enough. Forgive yourself when things don’t go as planned because life is just like that sometimes.

 

These days, people tend to wear ‘being busy’ as a badge of honour, as if it somehow proves their productivity, even if it’s at the cost of their own wellbeing.

But does it make them happy? Probably not.

When my children tell me they’re ‘bored’ (laughable), it’s great because they rarely get that luxury. And, boredom as a child was how I discovered I loved writing and poetry. Would I have discovered those things if I had a device in my hand that blasted videos in my face 24/7, I doubt it.

So let yourself just ‘be’ when you can, allow yourself to feel bored and try to reconnect with the things that you used to love and don’t make time for any more.

Give yourself to permission to rest and trust that you’re worthy of it. You’ll feel stronger for it, in the long run.